Boo! Thom’s Thursday THauntings

Thom's greatest fear: me talking to him on the subway.
One of Thom’s great fears: me talking to him on the subway.

This Saturday is Halloween, one of many holidays this year that will sneak up and punch me in the face. A month ago I said to Thom, “Let’s dress up! I’ve never dressed up and gone out in the city for Halloween!”  

“Sure,” said Thom.

We batted around a few ideas. A friend suggested we go as Charlie Brown and Lucy, which Thom said was perfect because —

“Charlie Brown has like one hair?” I said.

“No,” said Thom, “Because Lucy talks too much.”

A few days later another friend suggested we go as Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff. A great idea until we realized that between the two of us, we owned 3.5 pairs of athletic socks, nothing that would pass as tennis clothes (not even shoes), two squash and three badminton racquets. It would cost approximately $100 each to dress up as the tennis greats, not including a blonde wig, which, considering I am unemployed, seems to qualify as an “unnecessary extravagance.”

Thom shrugged, “I can just wear the Santa hat I’ve worn for the past eight Halloweens.”

I said no.

“Or we could just both go as sluts.”

I said no again.

So, as of this Thursday, we are still without costume

But Thom has made progress in other ways: mostly, finished reading Ready Player One, which he says was rather “basic” compared to The Martian, which he thought was way better. I disagreed. Then I told Thom I was cold and he suggested I get a space heater.

“I’ll just put on a sweater.”

“Ah,” said Thom, “Nature’s space heater.”

“Sweaters are made by people.”

“Yes, but they come from sheep.”

I disagreed again, but what do I know, I’m just a loudmouth Lucy with a giant watermelon head.

Anyway, Thom’s other thoughts this week, short and sweet like Halloween candy:

  1. For Halloween, I had ambitions to write a scary story and post it on the blog, but instead I got a freelance copywriting job which takes me longer than it should. I also started keeping a diary, which Thom likens to “blathering, but with a pen.”
  2. For the most part, Thom encourages my endeavors as a writer. Sometimes however, he sends me links like this one from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.
  3. But in keeping with the Halloween spirit, Thom offered to contribute the following:
    “How about, The Girl Who Talks Too Much. Woooo.”
    “This is why you’re not a writer,” I said.
    “Oh ho,” said Thom, “I know many a man who would be horrified by that story.”

Happy Halloween everyone.

More of Thom’s thoughts! Also, that time My Parents Were in Canada.

Please share your thoughts. No really, please.

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