Thom’s Thursday Thanksgiving Thoughts

Greetings from Arlington, VA where Tom* and I are spending Thanksgiving with Tom’s parents and siblings.

“I have to write Thom’s Thursday Thoughts,” I announced this morning at breakfast.

“God,” Tom groaned, “can’t you invade someone else’s privacy?”

“You could do Charlie’s Thursday Thoughts,” suggested Mrs. Ward. Charlie is Tom’s nephew. He is two and spent the morning watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade without pants on.

“Or I could do Mr. Ward’s Thursday Thoughts,” I said, “And just leave the whole thing blank.”

“He has thoughts,” said Mrs. Ward.

“Oh I know,” I said, “He just doesn’t share them with me.”

“You could,” said Tom’s brother Nicky, poking the air, “Just write ‘dot dot dot’.”

Just then, Mr. Ward came back in from the back patio.

“Would you like to be on my blog, Mr. Ward?”

“I don’t do blogs,” he said.

So this Thanksgiving, Thom’s Thursday Thoughts, as usual.

1. As everyone is gearing up to eat a ton today, I think it’s okay to tell you that last night, Tom ate a 1 lb. burger, an off-the-menu item called a Fullback, at Theismann’s. Tom’s dad recommends the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, also off-the-menu.
2. Tom finally took me to one of his favorite bookstores: Capitol Hill Books, which has as much character as it has books.
   
   I bought Thomas Hoving’s Andrew Wyeth: Autobiography and Erik Larson’s In the Garden of Beasts. Tom wandered off for a good twenty minutes and came back with this strange tome.
   “Why?” I asked.
   “It looks alright,” he said.
3. That’s about all the shopping we’ll do this Thanksgiving, especially since Black Friday is facing extinction.
   “Good,” said Tom, “I hated it.”
   Then after a minute, “Though it’s nice that idiots get their own holiday.”
4. Now Tom wants to take a walk before this afternoon’s festivities so he’s asking me to wrap this up. I’ll leave you with a reminder that Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you have. Especially if you have an unemployed girlfriend who invades your privacy at least once a week.
   1. After I applied for unemployment, a friend joked, “So Betty, does Hell’s Kitchen have a soup kitchen?”
      Tom thought it was hilarious until he remembered we were dating.
      “You gotta get off welfare Betty,” he said, “That’s our new relationship goal.”

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

*Thom will no longer be used in the body text of Thom’s Thursday Thoughts since several idiots have seriously asked Tom, “Is that really how you spell your name?” I had shrugged it off and said, “Then they don’t deserve to get the joke,” but Tom is more accommodating to idiots than he is to unemployed blogger girlfriends.

Also: Thom’s Thoughts on Anniversaries, Thom’s Thoughts on Problem Solving, and a Thanksgiving Instagram Throwback.